Lightscapes.

Article I wrote for the Bowen Island Undercurrent.

Exhibition Poster

It's been quite a while since I posted anything. There simply hasn't been much to report as far as art events or fascinating thoughts. Then my exhibition in Bowen Island, "Lightscapes" finally happened this October and now I feel compelled to write this new entry. It was more than a couple of years in the making and it was a LOT of work. But its success with the amazing response it got -and 16 paintings sold -made it all completely worth it. Now that it is over I've become almost depleted. During the holidays I have scarcely picked up the brushes, only dedicating my time to a couple of commissions. It's cold outside, true, but it is more than that. I find myself flailing again and wondering if it is all worth it. I have to share the pricey apartment with all the unsold and framed paintings. About 20 more or less. And with an unemployed husband who is in a downward spiral of self confidence to boot.

Looking fulfilled.

Lots of friends came to the show.

 Yeah, It's not only a storage problem. It is a mental space problem manifesting itself in a bulky pile of framed artwork cluttering my life. Just the tip of the iceberg frankly. A symbol of baggage and yadda yadda. Sure, at the ripe age of 53 I have graduated from thinking my paintings are terrible  but I haven't managed to establish a life and a home from where to  launch the career I desire, the one I've desired for years while moving around chasing jobs, tackling the urgent to the detriment of the important as they say. It's my pity-party and I'm going to have it dammit. To add to the precariousness, my husband Armando is unable to find a job and his unemployment is running out soon. So I have to hold my breath and keep working where I can despite the fact that my salary has fallen precipitously (My former company proved to be badly managed and a lot of us ended on the street. ) Frankly, I'm tired.

Armando and I at the Hearth's gallery In Bowen island. BC

 So what now in this new year 2020. Syd Mead has just died btw, I see some hidden meaning in that as well. My love for art hasn't diminished.  I know how much it hurts me when people praise my abilities  because, although the comments are very well intentioned, their praise tends to segue into the "how come you are not just making it a an artist?' conclusion.

Let me tell you why.... nah. "why" doesn't answer anything. There are reasons for and against everything. "Why" is never the problem's clue.   I've been toying with the idea of stopping my "analog" painting altogether: rushing out to capture the light, lugging around canvases and paints and enduring onlookers and weather despite the fact that I enjoy it all so much. So very much. As I mention often, it is the only thing that seems worthwhile to me. The -one- thing I recognize as a calling. In an effort to find joy in art without the aggravation of "bulk" I have started considering switching to digital art. I know it is a steep learning curve.  I fear the technical demands of keeping up with software programs and computing details.  I know its monetary rewards won't be the result of selling actual physical artwork to clients with whom I can build a rapport  but to film studios, gaming and illustration outlets and their limited palette in the emotional spectrum : cute, horrific, majestic.  The competition is so enormous for someone starting now. It makes ones knees buckle before you even take the first step.

So if starting anew is such a demanding journey and with time running out....  I feel defeated before I start it. Not much choice though . I need a year off for starters. Other possibilities? Well considering how much Armando wants to live in London I have started putting feelers about getting a job there. No luck yet. Brexit makes it all a mess as well and I hear rumors London is loosing out to Germany in the Visual Effects industry. Our industry is so shifty, it breaks one heart. 

What about applying for some overpriced school  in London? What about a change to another less demanding career?  I tried this before by obtaining a paralegal degree -after studying at night for 6 years-  that proved quite a waste of time as well as I am not inclined to detailed scheduling and administrative work.  What about art restoration?  art crafts?  - I can't never shake the thought that the people that went into art restoration at the Art School in Madrid were those who had failed to manifest any type of artistic excellence and got scared into switching to the path  of least job resistance with the endless cotton ball-rubbing and crack-filling.  My cousin was an enthusiastic art conservator though. She really loved her career but died very young of cancer  which I suspect related to noxious fumes during  her work restoring of Santa Maria La Blanca of Toledo.

Teaching? Atelier Training? What the hell. I have no idea. These days you need a certificate to fail in any and all  fields. I guess, as usual, things will just keep happening to me instead of through me and I, no, we will have to remain in survival mode, that most unproductive of modes where fear grips all  our decisions and puts out the opposite of good vibes and our best self. 

A more modern framing style for the Vancouver style.

Oh..Before I forget, there was more than one show. I participated in a group show called "Figuring it Out" with artists M.J. Sarmiento and Niki Papp. It was a nice assembling of  artwork centered around the human figure. My artwork consisted of sketches of children at play  and some naked people from Wreck Beach mostly. No sales in this case and a very sparse attendance. The gallery is in an area not very apt for casual dropping by. We had a good time all around though.

A group exhibition of sketches. "Figuring In Out"

"Figuring it Out" show

"Figuring it Out". No sales but a lot of fun.

Children at play, watercolor and pen.

Here is my whole month of December (barring many sketches). The first painting is my largest painting to date here in Vancouver. A 24"x48" oil on wood commissioned by an accounting firm. It represents a soothing scene apt for the clientele that will be entering the firm with money worries. It  is a view of the Seawall.
The second painting is a commission for a client and it represents the house of my friend Mary Lynn Machado in Bowen Island. It shows her dog "Mimi" guarding the house. Because Mary Lynn is such a great dog lover , I also added the Canis major constellation in the sky even though I have no idea of whether it really ever would appear there.
The last watercolor was actually commissioned by Mary Lynn Machado herself for a friend of hers. Again dogs are prominent in this piece.

"SeaWalk Stroll" 24"x48" opil on wood board.

"Canis Major' 9"x12"

"Dog Walk" watercolor.